Don’t be a Scary Mary

This article should be all about covering New York Fashion Week and the slew of weeks of fashion that follow it. Instead, I have to deal with the huge epidemic that is sweeping across Chadron. This has to be taken care of before I can even attempt conversing about true high fashion.

This epidemic is easily recognizable on our campus. A person who has contracted it lurks down the sidewalks of CSC. Hairy spiders creep where her eyelashes once gracefully laid upon her cheeks. Jamaican dreadlocks are thrown up into what looks like a cow pie on top of her head. She is in every building, in every class, and could even be in your very own mirror.

Who is she?

She is Scary Mary!

If this doesn’t sound like half of the girls walking around campus, you better make sure you are really enrolled at Chadron State College.

Come on girls, don’t be that girl. Stop it! You are not impressing anyone with your lack of putting yourself together. With one glance you can’t imagine that a professor would think of you as a human being, let alone a student.

Just because we live in Nebraska, doesn’t mean we have to dress like we do. I have traveled to many cities, and let me tell you, this is one of the only places I have been were you look like an outcast if you aren’t dressed like a homeless person.

Why not take an hour out of your time to make sure that you are dressed, made up and have at least taken a shower before you venture off to class. What Barbies did these girls grew up playing with?

I have decided it is time for me to pull an exorcism of Scary Mary. This, of course, is all part of my “Keep Chadron Beautiful” campaign.

Here are five tips any girl can use to get rid of her inner Scary Mary.

  • Wash Your Face – Reapply your eye makeup and you’re good to go. In desperate situations, for makeup all a girl really needs is a nice set of lashes.
  • No More Messy Bun – Brush through that ratty hair and put it in a low pony! This looks much better than the Nebraskan Cow Pie you were tooling around in before.
  • Sweats Are For the Gym – Does it really take that much more effort to put on a decent shirt and toss on a good ol’ pair of jeans.
  • Brush Your Teeth! – If you can taste it, we can smell it. You think your clothes are foul? Take a whiff of your breath!
  • Smile – Just because you woke up late (and/or didn’t shower), you don’t have the right to be grumpy the rest of the day. Isn’t once a month more than enough?

Hopefully this time next year the Scary Marys will be long gone and we will have Thoroughly Modern Millies instead.

The day when all hair is combed, all clothes are matched, and all Crocs are burned will be the day I dance in the street. This day can’t come soon enough!

You may also like...

26 Responses

  1. Anonymous says:

    I have to say, your article on the female fashion of CSC caught my eye. I had to reread it to make sure I had read it correctly. I mean, seriously? Who do you think you are? Before you go ranting on the girls of CSC you need to take a look at your own gender.

    Girls need to “dress up” to go to class, but guys don’t? I see just as many guys in class and around campus with sweatpants as girls. Most girls that I have viewed wearing sweatpants to class at least wear them with a sense of “style.”

    A lot of guys I see have their sweats, and jeans for that matter, hanging half off their asses. Nobody wants to see your underwear, especially not girls. Trust me guys, it doesn’t impress us in the slightest. And another thing, I didn’t know there was a dress code on campus.

    I thought Chadron encouraged individuality and independence. I didn’t realize the females of the campus were required to plaster their faces with makeup and “dress up” to show off for the men of the campus. If I have to wear dirty, sweaty clothes to class because I didn’t have time to change after work or practice, by dang I will. I’d rather show up a little dirty to class than 15 minutes late because I took time to shower and change after a hard day’s work.

    What about the single mom who has an 8:00 a.m. class she has to make, and shows up in sweats because it just happens to be what she was wearing when she ran out the door after helping get her son or daughter get ready for school?

    And what do you mean when you say, “Just because we live in Nebraska, doesn’t mean we have to dress like we do.” Are you implying people from Nebraska are slobs? Hillbillies? Hicks from the hills? Nebraskans are some of the hardest working people in these United States. Neighbors care about their neighbors, and will go out of their way to help a stranger in need.

    Living in Nebraska, it’s not practical to dress like the fashion models in New York. People need to dress for the job they partake in, whether that be farmer, rancher, student, teacher, or business manager. Plus, it being Nebraska, the sky could be clear and sunny one moment, and there could be a full-out blizzard the next.

    The point is, one little article isn’t going to make people change the way they dress. People are going to wear what they want to class, regardless of what you have to say about it, whether that be sweats and a messy bun or jeans and a nice top. It’s their decision to make, not yours.

  2. Scary Mary says:

    Scary Mary’s Top Ten

    1. “If most of us are ashamed of shabby clothes and shoddy furniture, let us be more ashamed of shabby ideas and shoddy philosophies…. It would be a sad situation if the wrapper were better than the meat wrapped inside it.” ~Albert Einstein
    2. “When you can’t do something truly useful, you tend to vent the pent up energy in something useless but available, like snappy dressing.” ~Lois McMaster Bujold
    3. I attend good ol’ CSC for an EDUCATION, not a fashion show. Maybe you were confused when you signed up.
    4. Your not straight. My appearance should be the least of your concern because I look dead sexy. Besides, it makes the real men wonder what is underthere: black? lace? tangas?
    5. It is of none of your business how I keep my mouth clean…
    6. How ’bout I run right out to the highest fashion store in town: Walmart and buy myself a nice set of lashes that are on sale to make my terd brown eyes twinkle while I attempt to impress you.
    7. I’d smile, but I would hate to show you my snaggle tooth; without it, I wouldn’t be able to eat an apple.
    8. As for Barbies that we grew up playing with… they actually had REAL Ken dolls that were worth a black dress, unlike you boys wearin’ your stink smell, letting your bellies hang outta your shirt, clothes that make the cat panic, and your neckties- how intelligent to start the day with a little noose around your neck? As for you fellas and your sweatpants- they make you look like your carryin a tater back there (often confused for poop); we Nebraska girls… we have the hinny’s to support those sweats.
    9. Crocs, oh honey, you didn’t just say you wanted to burn my RUBBER crocs. And do not even think about coming to class without having showered after burning them, Stinky McGee.
    10. How about I go ahead and “cake” my make-up on and maybe I’ll have enough applied that the next time I see you, I can help you and rub some off in your eyes to help you see.
  3. scary mary says:

    I personally think you are way out of line for saying this. Last I checked college was for school not for gay people to judge others only because they lost a few pounds and think they are hot!

    • The Ultimate Scary Mary says:

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. Okay, where must I begin? I agree with the person that said Just because you lost a few pounds and think you’re hot shit, you can judge everyone else solely on their appearance. I have honestly never met some one so shallow that they judge girls upon what they wear to class. The last time I checked, I was here to make something of myself, not to look like a model.

      Who the hell am I trying to impress? The only girls that dress up everyday are either trying to get some, or are freshman and are still trying to impress everyone. So, in conclusion, I would appreciate it if people would stop judging everyone else just because girls choose to wear sweats and buns as apposed to spending hours (which could be used for catching up on sleep deprivation) getting ready to look “pretty” for a bunch of people I’m never going to see again after I graduate.

      I apologize, but I have bigger things to worry about, such as grades, family, and GRADES as apposed to meeting your standards of what a girl should look like.

    • Sorry I care says:

      “The only girls that dress up everyday are either trying to get some, or are freshman and are still trying to impress everyone.”

      Really? Just because some of us put effort into our look does not mean we are freshman trying to impress people OR trying to get some. I happen to be a junior right now, who gets up every morning to make myself look nice, not because I’m trying to impress guys or get ass from them. But because I respect myself. Before you start attacking those of us who care, perhaps you should realize why you were complaining in the first place. Because someone put their OPINION in the paper. I never realized that other opinions changed your life, or completely ruined who you were as a person. Until this opinion begins interfering with your everyday life and your own opinion you should probably quit complaining! There is a reason that the author of this article was asked to write for the culture corner, and not some slob who wears sweatpants everyday!

    • Scary Mary!? says:

      Excuse Me? Just because I wear sweatpants… does not make me a slob. I still shower and brush my teeth. Just because you take the time to get ready everyday does not make you better. I have self-confidence and can feel good no matter what I am wearing. So excuse me if I am not buying the bull you are selling today!!! His opinion was rude and I do not find it acceptable to criticize someone based on their style. Last time I checked we still lived in America… you know… the land of the free!!!

    • The Ultimate Scary Mary says:

      Okay. So you are a junior and you dress up every day, and it is because you care and respect yourself. Well, I respect myself also, but I’m sorry I don’t have that much time to devote to making myself look “pretty.” I can “respect” myself and still wear sweats and look like hell; I happen to respect myself because I realize that some things in this world are more important as apposed to superficial , such as homework (a.k.a. making something of myself one day) is FAR more important that looks (a.k.a. superficial importance). You have to realize what is truly important in this life, simply looking good or devoting yourself to a deeper, better purpose. Because in the end? I can be successful because of my hard work and “dress up” when needed. And yes, I understand it is the OPINION section. Opinions are like ass holes, everybody has one, and they all stink. I just found it funny that so many people were throwing a hissy-fit over it; hence the “HAHAHAAHHAHAHA.” And this paper has not affected my life, except finding out how many people are truly superficial and judgmental. It truly is disappointing to find out that people care more about looks than observing the world around us, its beauty, and its challenges. This world has SO much more to offer than purely superficial clothing observance. So I challenge you, will looking nice really matter when we’re all gone? I challenge you to look into a deeper purpose in life, find a hobby, or maybe open your eyes to this beautiful world around us and realize there is FAR more to this universe than looking good.

  4. just another scary mary says:
    • Freedom of Speech or Expressionism: available to the United States since 1789
    • Humor: something to appreciate when stress is taxing
    • Offense to Humor: also permitted by means of our 1st amendment, although it is seemingly inappropriate since the article is geared toward humor and doesn’t necessarily pertain to the whole female population on campus… perhaps Nebraska’s real problem is that Scary Mary’s can’t take a joke?
    • HYPOCRISY: making needless BLOWS at one’s sexual preference or personal weight because you don’t necessarily agree with his or her points of view, therefore making you a HYPOCRITE for insinuating somebody is tasteless and then proceeding to be completely tasteless yourself.

    Haha…. isn’t that ironic….

  5. Scary Maria says:

    I think what you said was entertaining and True! At least you are writing something interesting in the Eagle!

    • Kevin Oleksy says:

      If you find The Eagle boring, please let us know specifically where we can improve it. Or better yet, write a letter to the editor expressing your opinion!

  6. Fashion Addict says:

    Excatly…people forget this is America and people subconsciously judge based on appearance! If you want to be taken seriously you must look it! Even in corporate America, if you look like you care about yourself then people know you care about your job and your life! Come on people, dressing like slobs is unacceptable!

    • Unbelievable says:

      People are not dressing like slobs. There is a difference between dressing confortably and dressing like a homeless person. You should all be ashamed for being so judgemental. Who are you to judge….maybe people don’t have all the money in the world to go out and buy designer clothes just to impress the likes of you….get over it.

    • Dress the part says:

      Never once did he suggest that we go out and buy designer clothes, get it right, and another thing there are plenty of girls (and guys) that dress like slobs on campus and off campus…he’s simply suggesting that we take the time out of our day to dress the way we feel, and we should feel good about ourselves..Read the article again please.

    • Unbelievable says:

      No, but why did he only comment on girls….there are boys that dress just as badly! Just because we choose to wear sweats and throw our hair up does not mean we don’t feel good about ourselves. That could simply just be our wardrob.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Honestly, I’ve never met someone who had such a deep seated desire to be hated.

    Don’t get me wrong, as a straight man, I love it when girls come to class dressed up and looking good, but I’m also not enough of a dick to say girls need to look that great every day. It’s college. I’ve gone on multiple visits to UNL, and it’s the same way there. A considerable proportion of girls just roll out of bed and go to class there as well.

    I would expect this sort of thing from another straight guy, this objectification of women, the mindset of “don’t come to class without waking up two hours early to look good, or I won’t associate myself with you,” but I can’t believe a gay man is saying them.

    As for The Eagle, I would expect these sort of things from tabloids, but really? THIS is what we as a college want to be known for? I wish I could say my own college was above sexism and objectification, but sadly I cannot. I can’t believe this is allowed. I know, I know. Free speech, but the official school newspaper does not have to allow him to print these sexist columns.

    Chadron State deserves better than this, and so does every female that attends Chadron. It’s 2010. I thought we got over sexism decades ago, but I guess I was mistaken.

  8. Unbelievable says:

    I was deeply offended by this article and truely amazed that this was even allowed to be published. Do we really want to be known for articles such as this? I have been to many other campuses and they are all the same. Students wear sweats and throw their hair up in a bun and go to class. Just because we are wearing sweats does not mean we just rolled out of bed and went. Honestly, who are you to say we need to shower before going to class. How we decide to look is for us to decide. We come to worry about getting good grades and at least we show up to class. I guess you got the reaction you were looking for. It’s just ridiculous that people have to be so judgemental about what we look like. We should be above people that judge based on appearances, its supposed to matter what is on the inside. You should be ashamed of yourself for writing something this absurd. We are not all here prancing around to impress others.

  9. Beauty within... says:

    Wow! What assignment did you write this for? This article is eyeopening to say the least. If you were trying to get us all to read the eagle, it worked! The misfortune of the article is beauty is not on the outside but on the inside. The appearance of a woman is not how we appear on the outside. Getting good grades is the most important part of the college life. We stay up late hours to get good grades and get dressed to attend the next class in order to get good grades. The social dynamics of the situation you are addressing puts us all in a stereotype— a box– trapped into a profile. When the time comes for us to be in a professional program we will dress for the occasion. In the mean time we are who we are and it is not what is on the outside that counts but within ourselves. This is a question of your character, integrity and I am shocked to see this come from you!

  10. Dress the part says:

    I’m completely “offended” by all the negative comments that this article received. These people are bashing this artcile for being “judgemental”, but aren’t you doing the same thing? This is an amazing, funny, entertaining, and true message!! This artcile is simply stating that we need to dress how we feel inside; our image reflects our thoughts and feelings. And there is a difference between dressing comfortably and SLOPPY!! I’ve seen some girls that should not have even walked out the door. I look at these girls and think that they don’t feel that great about themselves. This article suggests that we take that extra step to look presentable, not once did it mention that we put a pound of make-up on or buy designer clothes or wear 5-inch heels or anything of that nature. I am a female, and guilty of being a “Scary Mary” in the past, but I look back at myself and I’m not happy with it. This year I take the extra time to get ready and feel good about myself. No I don’t take hours and hours to get ready, I just take the needed time to make myself look the way I want!!!

    I’m happy that this article was printed in our newspaper, it shows that we are open to opinions and new thoughts and ideas. I would be unimpressed if this article was relpaced with an article about wranglers and flannel shirts…I’m sorry I’m from Nebraska, but I don’t wanna read about it. I think close-minded people need to open up their peanut sized brains and look out into the “real” world and stop being secluded to Nebraska life. No matter where we go people are going to judge based on appearance, that’s a given…I see people come into workplaces with dirty clothes, dirty hands, and stinky pits, and sometimes I wish “Nebraskans” would take the time out of their day to at least wash their hand and change their clothes before they go into a public restaurant; it’s unconforable being around those people, I don’t like the smell of cow shit. And sometimes I wish girls and guys on campus would take the time to brush their hair and throw some presentable clothes on to come to class, and definitely brush their teeth. I’ve been in some situations where I’ve had to move seats in class because of bad breath, bad B.O., and I was unconfortable. If you all take the time to read the article AGAIN, you will see the humor and the entertaining side of it, only if you open up your pea-sized brain! Love yourself, and dress the part!!

    Just because we live in Nebraska doesn’t mean we have to dress the part….I completely agree!! And I’m so disappointed in the comments regarding the author’s gender..where the heck does it say a “gay” man can’t have an opinion. Because this man is “gay” or not should even matter, I’m so ashamed of those of you who thought that was relevant. I’m a straight female and I have an opinon and I agree completely, now are you going to say something about that?!!! Where is my gender and sex matter? It DOESN’T!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Scary Mary!? says:

      I don’t care if you want to dress up everyday. I don’t. I like to wear sweats and messy buns because I like the style, not because I don’t feel good about myself… so maybe you should get your facts straight. How I dress has nothing to do with my mood. I will dress up on days I feel sad and on days I feel happy same goes for when I wear sweats and a messy bun. Get over you attitude and stop judging those of us who don’t like to dress up everyday. Like I said… you go right ahead and dress up… I don’t care, but don’t judge me for not following in your footsteps. I have my own style… not anyone elses.

  11. Get Over It says:

    Two Simple Thoughts:
    ~ Offense is harmless to all but the beholder
    ~ I can only expect as much respect from others as I hold for myself

  12. Tantrism says:

    I find the female “outrage” over this pretty amusing. I don’t think, however, there has been one valid assertion why this article is wrong. I’d like to cover some of the funny things in these comments.

    First, quoting what Einstein (who lived and died a slob that never saw ANY fruition of his work)say is on anything other than math is silly. He was also so completely defunct of any moral or ethical backbone and contradicted himself at every turn in EVERYTHING in his life except math. You are also not Einstein, when you break the bounds of science and math with your mind then you can talk about “the diamond in the rough”, but not from the middle of nowhere Nebraska.

    Second, as far as I know, never has fashion been something so stark in contrast that there is only trailer trash and Dolce and Gabanna. Also, note that any European you speak to (especially in the Latin countries) scoffs at the way Americans (women in particular) present themselves in public. On one hand, this is America and not Europe. On the other hand, American exceptionalism would prefer that we were even more concerned with how we look, not because of status symbols, but because its THE BEST WE HAVE TO OFFER. That is the whole point of “doing your best”, it gives you a sense of accomplishment.

    The trick here is you dont want accomplishment. Sad fact is that our American youth want entitlement instead. Ever hear someone say, “I just want someone to love me for me”? Think about that, what is “you”? If it’s not what you have accomplished, if its not the very best you have to give 24/7/365… what is it? There’s not an answer, that’s because there’s not a you. This is where the opposite of accomplishment comes from.

    Be honest, you do whatever you want and expect everyone to accept it, if they dont they are sexist, fascist or “too concerned” with how people look. But that all changes the minute you decide to get dressed up and play pretty for the evening, now you wish to be accepted (and DESIRED) in part for the way you look. So you are saying, essentially, that everyone had better play by your rules when you want to play by them, or else they are morally defunct. This is called “entitlement” and it’s the breeding ground of the people all our generation supposedly hates. It’s the polar opposite in terms of concepts to accomplishment.

    And here’s the ugly truth, when you go buy beer or food would you be concerned if the package was dusty, moldy, broken, ripped, unsealed or had a one color/one word label? Of course! This is essentially what you are, a package. You are trying to sell this package to the public. If you are not trying to, you insist that you want people to buy the package (i.e. professors, jobs, friends, romantic interest) simply off the assumption that it might have some value. But what sort of value? “But please eat this candy, Mister, its not sealed or wrapped, this is a ziplock bag. But I PROMISE it’s the best candy you’ve ever had.” Does this sound logical?

    The reason you people are upset is the same reason that the best minds in the world right now are flocking to the practical sciences and away from the humanities: guilt. You have no idea how to form or understand concepts (mostly due to the Comprachicos… see Ayn Rand) and thus cannot begin to understand value or worth. Without being able to understand worth or value, nor the difference between a concept, theory, opinion and fact, you have no basis with which to understand yourself or your relation to reality. So you escape in various things, work and grades and alcohol being dominant on a college campus and feel GUILT when the the reality that is doesn’t meet up with the standards you had to dream up (often randomly done by your tiny little brain early in life).

    So when someone, often ignorant of their own inability to grasp concepts, presses against the bounds of reality and how we as reality’s greatest subjects relate to that, you, “the pack”, jump on him. This guy is calling you out on your silly double standards and probably laughs as you trip over your own guilt. It’s not about designer clothes or makeup, its about the fact that the young men and women of the greatest country to ever have existed have lost faith in exceptionalism. Blame your professors for that one. But then go home and look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you are doing your best in every aspect of life. Ask yourself if you believe that you are exceptional, the kind of person that stories are written about. Ask yourself if you were someone else that were exceptional, would you at all be interested in befriending you based upon the way you present yourself.

    I believe myself to be exceptional, therefore my time is very very valuable. I have very many great things to accomplish in the short amount of time I have on this planet. I do not waste that time on people who arent also exceptional. Eagles dont fly with pigeons and lions dont hang out with mice. I understand worth, so I understand that when someone who works, goes to school and takes care of a kid wakes up an hour earlier to atleast be presentable, appropriate for occasion but dressed her very best, she has incredible work ethic and an attractive amount of self esteem. She is going to be an amazing woman because she wont allow anything less of herself. This is attractive. Not Dolce and Gabanna.

    “I am the only thing that stands between myself and immortality.” – M.P. Wiley

  13. feel good about yourself says:

    I think that people are reading way to much into this article. It is simply stating that if you want to feel good about yourself you need to “dress” the part. Did you shower daily for high school and dress nice? Would your shower daily and dress nice for a job. Yes…. you would.

    So tell me this…why is college any different.I don’t know about you, but my mother taught me good hygeine growing up and I sure hope that I passed this on to my children. I told them do it for yourself! I commend the writer for being brave enough to bring the subject up. He was just adding humor to a daily occurance! As far as I am concerned, the people that don’t like the article are the guilty ones. I do not feel that this article was sexist at all and I am a female.

    And as far as commenting on the writer’s sexual preference it has NOTHING at all to do with anything. It is just your way of throwing stones. Get over it already.

  14. Scary Mary!? says:

    I do not believe that if you wear sweats and have your hair in a messy bun then you look like a homeless person. I do not dress the way I dress because I am lazy or have no self-confidence, but because I love sweats, tennis shoes and making my hair a mess. I LOVE messy buns and side pony tails, what I don’t like are low pony tails, I find them boring!!!!!! My style is my choice and not anyone elses!!!!!!

  15. Ugly Maria says:

    I agree with Scary Maria’s post earlier…although this may have been a little rude, the Culture Corner is the ONLY section in the paper that is worth reading! At least the Eagle admits this section SOLELY expresses opinion…

  16. Karolina says:

    THANK YOU!!!! Someone finally spoke up! I atteneded high school in a small town, very much like Chadron, where I would always stand out because I had a nice top on or occasionally a pair of heels.

    I attended school at the University of Norhtern Colorado last year and just because it was a bigger school, and there were a few more girls that dressed up I didn’t feel so out of place. Moving here this year, yet again I feel like I stick out in the crowd because I have a dress on, high heels, and my hair is done.

    It doesn’t take any longer to put on a dress than it takes to put on a pair of sweat pants. It doesn’t take that long to brush your hair and throw a little bit of spray or gel in it. It just doesn’t.

    People feel like they are being bashed on and put down because they wear sweat pants to class… to those people: I really hope that you get to do at least a little of traveling our of the state of Nebraska. I hope you get to see Europe. I was born in Europe, to this day, when I want to wear shorts or sweats to the grocery store, my parents make me change. Just about everywhere else in the world you do not leave the house untill you look AT LEAST presentable.

    And to those girls who are think that they are being put down, attacked, and bullied: WAKE UP! Your own insecurities are making you feel this way. Maybe if you put twenty minutes into getting ready in the morning, your self-esteem would be higher too.

  17. Double Standard? says:

    I found this article interesting because it places so much judgment on people who wear sweatpants to class. Personally I see nothing wrong with wearing comfortable clothes to class as long as you look put together. I think it is everyone’s choice on what they wear to class. Why should it really matter what someone wears to class. Isn’t the purpose of college to further one’s education rather than to attend a fashion show on a daily basis? I don’t dress up for class because frankly I like to wear comfortable clothes but I do shower every morning and put on clean clothes that go together, not dirty non-matching clothes. I think there is a big difference between being a slob and wearing comfortable clothes and to place judgment on people who do not dress up because they do not feel the need to seems a bit ridiculous, but then again everyone has their opinion. The bottom line is why should someone be judged because of what they are wearing just because their style is different than yours. If you think dressing up for class should be standard then why aren’t you in fashion school instead of a public college? On another not, why is it acceptable for guys to have their pants halfway down but girls can’t wear sweats to class? Seems like a double standard to me.

%d bloggers like this: