Apocalypses: How many have we survived?

Alright so we only have about three more months before we all die because some Mayan dude couldn’t fit any more dates on a circle slab, and therefore the end of days is upon us. So make your bucket lists kiddies, because I think this is the one where we bite the big one. What is going to happen to us? Meteor? Zombies? Someone from the independent candidates actually gets a vote in the 2012 Presidential Election? (My money is on Jim Carlson. If you want to see the other candidates that you have never heard of and enjoy the party names, the link is: http://www.politics1.com/p2012.htm. You’re welcome.)

Yes the world is coming to an end, and soon looting and plundering will be the norm. Or will it? I mean how many flu strains have we lived through? And yet, here we are, still alive. Avian, Swine, and West Nile are just some of the examples of diseases we’ve survived. Then there was the SARS outbreak which people were afraid was going to find its way to America. Yet here you are, reading this article, you little prodigy of an immune system, you.

Let’s go through a list of things that have been publicized as “the end of days.” In the year 793, a Spanish Monk predicted the second coming of Christ. For a group of people, this was the end of days. A single crowd of people, mind you, that didn’t have the Internet. But the threat was there! So much so that history recorded the event. Even Wikipedia has heard of it, so you know it must be true.

But that was not the only “prophesized” second coming. There were at least twenty other times that people predicted the second coming. Yet, the world kept on spinning. So either they were wrong about the man upstairs visiting us, or someone needs to check his day planner because he is a few centuries late.

Let us skip forward a few more years to the men and women of New England in 1780. They believed that they had a warning of the end of the days, and that the world was going to burn. Why? Because the sky was dark. Now, there is no actual account of what may have caused the sky to go dark. It is believed that the smoke of a fire, fog, and cloud cover all contributed. But it could have been various other things, such as a solar eclipse, night time, or some other natural explanation. The list goes on and on.

But those are all old, right? We have the news coverage, science, and the Internet, so we’re not going to believe the people that say the end is near, right? Wrong. It is because we have the Internet and media that more people are likely to fall for it. Remember the end of days in May 2011, then when it didn’t happen, the date was moved up to October of 2011? No?

Some manically clever men decided to run to Craigslist and post that they had sinned too much to be raptured and would take care of your money and possessions on Earth while you are gone. No one would fall for that, right? Once again; wrong. Many people posting these ads were rewarded with gifts from people believing that the light at the end of the tunnel was calling their name. So thanks internet, for reaching more people who I am surprised can access the internet.

If anyone has lived since 1989, like me then they have lived through approximately no less than fifty-two different dates that the world was going to end. Those rebels. They should try out for Survivor! Granted, everyone else has lived through those dates, but that is beside the point. So are we going to die because someone didn’t add any more dates to a pretty calendar? More than likely not.

Anyone can make an accusation about the end of times. Even the father of physics Isaac Newton has predicted such an event to happen in 2060. Probably not going to come true. Probably. But watch out for that meteor Apophis. That stuff is real.

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