This summer, however, I was happy to find a series that didn’t fall into the clichéd version I have gotten so used to. “The Morganville Vampires,” by Rachel Caine dragged me into its pages from the first chapter. Claire Danvers is an intelligent, ahead-of-her-time 16 year-old who is taking her first steps into a community college out of Texas. Her first few weeks prove to make the rest of the year hell because of a primped, polished, and snobby girl named Monica Morrell and her two “sheep,” who are just as cruel and witchy as her and constantly harass Claire.

Volume Two of the “Morganville Vampires” series.

After the last string is cut, Claire searches for an escape, which brings her to the Glass house – a mysterious, tall Victorian masterpiece complete with three unruly roommates. Decked-out in all black, from her hair to her clunky boots, Eve is Goth all the way, and isn’t afraid to show it. Aside from her mean demeanor, her personality is complete with compassion and kindness. Shane is a different story, known often throughout the entire series as “the hot boy,” his demeanor matches his personality. His character has a strong disposition of bad-boy meets nice-guy meets sloppy and unkempt gamer. Finally, Michael, owner and enigmatic roommate of the house, keeps to himself and always seems to sleep during the day but can often be found playing his guitar when the moon is high. As Claire becomes comfy in her new life, she finds that Morganville has more secrets than it lets on, some of which may fare badly for her well-being.

Creatively written, this book constantly had me yelling “No!” and gripping the edges of the book as a mix of emotions rushed through me, and kept me occupied for hours on end.

I know what you are thinking, this book is going to be predictable. Trust me, it’s far from that. When I thought I had parts figured out, I was sorely proven wrong as I moved from page to page. All of the books have pulse pounding endings that leave the reader wanting more.

Just when I thought vampire books were going out of style, I found myself engulfed in this series. Every book comes with it’s own package of quirky lines, characters that you either love or absolutely hate (especially Monica), and a new version of the vampire story. If you don’t end up liking this series, just remember, it’s still a better vampire story than Twilight.

But Jacobs’ tectonic terror was of a different variety than most. In fact, the four-foot-two-inch pile of books known as the Encyclopaedia Britannica seems pretty puny. That is, until you realize Jacobs plans to climb it word by word, all 44 million of them. That’s right, this New York Times best seller features one man, one encyclopedia, and one harrowing task.

I thought a book about a guy reading an entire encyclopedia would be as dry as its subject matter. How wrong I was. Every entry in Jacobs’ hilarious book, “The Know-It-All”, informs and amuses, proving just how scintillating those dry volumes can be.

Cover art © 2004 Simon & Schuster

Jacob’s informal voice is an asset in making his task accessible to readers. He masterfully condenses a ridiculous amount of information into entertaining, bite-sized blurbs. For a text all about reading, the book is light and perfect for the erudite weekend-reader. “The Know-It-All” reads like the attention-deficit version of its encyclopedic counterpart. Bold headings wear short articles like fact-filled jewelry. The book consists of alphabetized anecdotes, organized to take you through Jacobs’ journey of learning. For example, under “Fillmore, Millard” our intrepid author writes, “The thirteenth president was born in a log cabin. Why doesn’t poor Millard ever get press for this? Lincoln hogs all the log cabin spotlight.”

Jacob’s unique brand of informing also endears the reader to him. Rather than separate his personal and literary lives, Jacobs throws the reader into all his battles, not just the great Britannica climb. I read about living in his father’s intellectual shadow, and what spurred him to ingest man’s collective history.

I joined him, rallying against the world’s smart alecks, when he promised to use his new-found intelligence for education, not condescension. And when infertility posed a real threat Jacob’s marriage, I realized that knowledge and the ability to change something are two very different things. Jacobs learns, every man must live with this knowledge, no matter how intelligent.

The stories behind these personal mountains lend the book a sensitive, emotional core, which tempers its hardy intellectualism. The book is fibrous with facts, yes, but the real learning comes when Jacobs puts down the pages and dives into the real world.

So even if you’re not interested in the thirteenth president or the world’s deepest lake, I certainly suggest taking a break from your personal climb and joining A.J. Jacobs on his “humble quest to become the smartest person in the world.”

This comes out more than ever in Keillor’s book “Life among the Lutherans.” Despite the title, this book is not about religion (either as a screed or preaching) but rather the ways of the Lutherans and their world in the fictional little town of Lake Wobegon, whether it be the trials of Pastor Inqvist, the amusement of the dysfunctional marriage of Clint and Irene Bunsen, or even the funny songs about just being Lutheran. When comparing Lutherans with Episcopalians, one song goes “Henry VIII would marry a woman, And then her head would drop. J. S. Bach had [23] kids, ‘Cause his organ had no stop!”

Coming from the Minnesotan view of Midwestern life, Keillor recants some of his best Wobegon monologues about the Lutheran men of the town, as well as other Christian men. The Catholics, represented as members of the perfectly-named “Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility,” may be of a different denomination, but in the upper-Midwest even Catholics are Lutherans. Keillor’s experience of Lutheranism is like that of many in the denomination: you have the “happy” Lutherans, with their puffy sweaters and welcoming attitude to others, and then you have the “dark” Lutherans, with the outlook of bleakness, buried emotions, and almost painful meekness.

Cover © 2009, Augsburg Fortress Publishers

Keillor writes, “Lutherans are a calm, stoical, modest people, haunted by guilt, fearful of looking ridiculous, so they feel more secure if they are surrounded by people who are dressed like them and who are doing the same thing they are, and this leads many Lutherans to consider a career in the orchestra” (cue the St. Olaf’s Choir reference). This pretty much sums up the common Midwestern ideal where you keep your head down while walking, you don’t delve into pride, and you consider the freezing winters as a reminder you’re alive and that it isn’t all about you. Even for those who aren’t Lutheran, these traits are quite common to the Midwest. Keillor notes that he doesn’t like to generalize about Lutherans, but one thing that they all have in common is that the low point of their year is their summer vacation.

The best part of the book is that as it is a collection of short stories, there is no need to read cover-to-cover and the stories range from the hilarious to the truly sad. One funny story is of twenty-four Danish Lutheran pastors visiting the town. To show them a fun time, if you can call it fun, the church (Pastor Inqvist in his Bermuda shorts and they still in their parish robes) sends them off on a pontoon in the middle of the lake to enjoy the scenery and some food. As Keillor put it, “[The] one problem with twenty-four men on a twenty-six-foot boat is that in the Midwest we need to stand about twenty-eight inches or more from each other; otherwise, we get headaches.” Suffice it to say they got more than just headaches there.

Perhaps one of the most revealing stories is Keillor’s use of his “Ninety-five Theses,” written by an unknown ex-Wobegonian about his contempt for Lutheranism, the Midwest, and his family. Perhaps one of the most striking verses is number 13, towards his mother: “In place of true contrition, you taught me to be apologetic. I apologize continually. I apologize for my existence, a fact that I cannot change. For years you told me I’d be sorry someday. I am.”

Whether one is looking for a good chuckle at Midwestern life or perhaps delving into deep reservations about the status of Middle America, Keillor’s books offers a good, fictional insight to the lives and habits of the Midwestern Lutheran.

Illustration by Hannah Clark

This short book consists of dictionary entries that tell the story of a couple’s relationship, from the way they meet at an online dating website to her decisions that threatens to tear them apart.

The different style of this book offers a new perspective to a familiar story, in addition to exploring the relationship between language and love. “The Lover’s Dictionary” also lacks the typical fairy tale ending, which is a nice change for a familiar story.

Cover art © 2011 Macmillan

There is a dictionary entry for each letter in the alphabet, so the story is arranged alphabetically instead of chronologically. This is occasionally confusing but slowly reveals the complexity of the characters.

The words for each entry, such as aberrant, elliptical, and nomenclature, are not typically associated with relationships, so it is interesting how Levithan uses ordinary words to explore the good and bad sides of relationships. Some of the entries are quirky and amusing, for instance, anachronism: “ ‘I’ll go get the horse and buggy,” you’ll say. And I’ll say, ‘But I thought we were taking the hovercraft!’ ” Other entries are more thought-provoking: basis: “There has to be a moment at the beginning when you wonder whether you’re in love with the person or the feeling of love itself.”

The man and woman in “The Lover’s Dictionary” don’t have names or physical descriptions; instead, they are revealed through their interactions with each other, their friends, and their family.

They deal with realistic problems, from her dependency on alcohol to his chronic worries. Although the characters have an air of anonymity, they do not seem one-dimensional. Readers could easily see themselves in the funny, serious, and sometimes selfish aspects of the couple’s relationship, from his laziness to her inability to put the cap back on the toothpaste.

This book also explores the dynamics of relationships that start online, where people can portray themselves a certain way. This makes the story relevant in today’s age of Facebook and online identities.

The main problem I had with this book is that the dictionary entries reveal all the ways the two characters are incompatible yet fails to mention what keeps them together or even attracted them in the first place. Levithan makes his characters jump from a one night stand to a serious relationship; this seems like a lazy author’s way to avoid developing his characters any more than he has to.

Also, Levithan tries to make the story seem more realistic by randomly interspersing harsh language into the entries. I thought this was unnecessary and detracted from the story.

Overall, this book is fun to read because of Levithan’s writing style and original approach to a hackneyed topic. Reading “The Lover’s Dictionary” is similar to eating popcorn. It’s light and not overly filling, leaving room for more substantial books, although the occasional kernel detracts from the experience.

Penn himself is a very interesting man. He’s never had a sip of alcohol or nip of drug, and he is pro-gun rights, anti-death penalty, pro-pot, pro-free market, and anti-Al Gore. His libertarianism is the main reason that he is an atheist and skeptic, and it shows in his philosophy on religion.

"God, No!" cover art © 2011 Simon & Schuster

Penn introduces the subject of atheism by posing a simple question: If God asked you to kill your child and you refuse, then in Penn’s view you are an atheist. If you agree to do it, he begs you to reconsider. To Penn any doubt or hesitation shows skepticism and rational thought, the key to making moral decisions.

Another point is his dislike of the word “agnostic,” which he views as a word used to avoid taking a side. Penn believes that if one is asked if they think there is a god, then the answer must be “yes” or “no.” If one says “no,” then the answer to the next question of whether one believes in God must therefore be “no” as well.

A final point which Penn makes clear is that he is not ashamed to say “I don’t know.” How did we get here? “I don’t know.” How did the universe begin? “I don’t know.” What happens when we die? “I don’t know.” While there are stories and scientific estimates (which aren’t the same, folks) to try to explain these, no one really knows the answers for sure, so one must accept not knowing everything.

Despite the pointed title, the majority of “God, No!” is not about religion or God, and there is a healthy mix of life stories and lessons that everyone can laugh at and learn from. For example, what would you eat if you knew you were going to vomit it back up soon? Penn votes for Cinnabons, as they offer a nice, sweet comeback. How does he know this? Let’s just say it involves major g-forces.

How about learning one’s sexuality? Penn is as straight as the straight and narrow path, so he and his other straight friend didn’t mind going to a gay “spa” in the early 1980s with their gay friend. Now I’ve never been to a “spa” myself, but if what Penn says is true then I’d be happy to go for the free snack carts. I won’t say now what Penn went through, but rest assured that the outcome wasn’t what you’d think.

Perhaps the most hilarious story is when he tried to reconcile with an ex-girlfriend who moved in with a lesbian, who hated his guts. Only able to stay one night, he couldn’t sleep with the thoughts running in his head, so he headed to the shower (he says that when he can’t sleep he bathes). Unfortunately for him, there were no towels in the bathroom, so rather than risk waking up the evil lesbian, he resorted to using a hair dryer to dry off. Each dryer has a grill which, after long use, can get very hot and it can become very dangerous if one accidentally allows some flesh to touch it; Penn would find that out in the most excruciating way.

If one is looking for an elaborate screed against religion, you’ll probably only find about five pages worth. But that’s why “God, No!” is so great, because it is so funny. Granted, Penn is very liberal when it comes to profanity, but his book wouldn’t fly without it. Some of his stories will make you laugh out loud, others will stop you in your tracks, and others may bring a tear to your eye. Anyone of any belief or persuasion can read and enjoy the book, from Glenn Beck to Richard Dawkins, both of whom have, and get a great kick out of it. Is Penn’s book worth it? God, yes.

Cover art © 2003 Fantastic Fiction

Those long, cold nights of winter are just around the corner. Yes, it’s time for hot chocolate, fleece blankets, a fireplace, and a good book. While the wind is blowing outside and the snow is falling, I can be found on my living room floor, curled up next to the furnace vent, reading my all time favorite.

“East” by Edith Pattou is one book that cannot be set down and forgotten about. Usually, I am not a fan of wizardry, magic, and fairy tales, but this book is my exception. A talking polar bear; trolls; a land called Huldre; dresses made of gold, silver, and moonlight; drunken sea captains; and a young girl on an amazing journey all capture your attention and keep it.

The story starts out with a family: a doting father, a superstitious mother, and eight children. The youngest girl, Rose, is always getting into trouble, from tumbling off waterfalls, and disappearing for hours on end, to falling into creeks, and stumbling into a grouchy old widow’s storage shed that held an old loom.

After Rose’s birth, the family falls into poverty and one of the older daughters becomes deathly ill. One could argue that it is just coincidence, while another could argue that it was because of the mysterious lie surrounding Rose’s birth.

Eventually, the talking polar bear appears on a stormy night, takes Rose, and keeps her locked away in a hidden castle. While Rose is in the castle, we learn more about a mysterious visitor in the night and the possibility of a curse. A mishap leads to a strange blonde man being taken from the castle. Thus, Rose sets off on her lengthy journey. On her journey she encounters an old Viking, Knorr, a terrible storm, an Inuit tribe, and an ice palace ruled by a beautiful troll queen.

The plot of the story is not the only thing that captures your attention. The author throws in numerous small details that seem insignificant at the time, but make a world of sense later on in the story.

Her writing style in this book is unique. Each chapter is a different viewpoint from one of the characters: Father, Neddy, Rose, White Bear, and Troll Queen. The tale twists, turns and then twists back around, never allowing your attention to wander. One of the best things about this book is that it keeps you on your toes.

The characters in this book are fantastic. It is so well written that you can practically feel what the characters are feeling. You also can’t help but fall in love with the characters, and as the book goes on, you get more involved in their life stories.

Not only is the plot fantastic and the characters intriguing, but the book also gets you to think about the mistakes you’ve made in your life, and how far you would go to fix those mistakes. Rose made a mistake and she risked her life to fix it. It inspires you to challenge every barrier that might stop you from improving your life.

“East” is a fascinating and powerful novel.

I recommend this book to anyone, no matter what their interests are. There is something in this book for everyone.

Stephan Talty’s book, “Empire of Blue Water: Captain Morgan’s Great Pirate Army, the Epic Battle for the Americas, and the Catastrophe the Ended that Outlaw’s Bloody Reign.” At first glance it seems like just a collection of events and dates, which is usually common among history books. However, Talty’s work flows smoothly, and reads more like a novel than a history lesson.

Talty opens the scene with the ruins of the former British port power of Port Royal (those who watched the first “Pirates of the Caribbean” will know that location) west of present-day Kingston, Jamaica. At its height, Port Royal was the pirate capital of the world and the stomping grounds of many sinister and swarthy scoundrels. During an era of colonization and new discoveries, England wanted to possess American territory near where the Spanish were desperately mining millions of tons of silver on their monstrous galleon ships. After varied attempts, the English were able to colonize Jamaica, and thus wealth would soon come to England and prove fatal for Spain.

At the time, Spain was in decline: King Carlos II, a result of very close inbreeding, was literally a drooling slob who couldn’t even chew food; Spain’s previous wars had left the country bankrupt; and despite helping to pay off its debt, the more silver that was brought into Spain the more it decreased in value, thus the country was suffering from an elaborate crack addiction. To avoid international conflict, England couldn’t directly pillage Spanish goods. England’s solution therefore, was to hire gangs of privateers (basically pirates under orders from the state) to raid and steal Spanish possessions. They found the perfect privateer in a young twenty-year-old Welshman named Henry Morgan.

Morgan and his crew would shuffle back and forth around the Caribbean. They encountered both good and bad on their travels including his massive plunder in northern Venezuela and his near-death crossing of the jungles of Panama (the effects of which virtually ended Spain’s dominance of the New World and gave rise to the British Empire).

Talty is able to give these experiences real feeling and sensation by putting the reader in the shoes of his made-up character, Roderick. Through the eyes of Roderick, the reader can actually be there with Morgan escaping from savage cannibals on various islands, swimming in the silver and gold riches, climbing the walls of a Spanish fortress, surviving the disease-ridden deathtrap jungles, and even getting wasted (and lucky) in sin city of Port Royal.

All good things must come to an end though, and eventually Morgan’s power ceased and the English turned their back on the privateers and pirates. And what of Port Royal? Well, at the time, the pious leaders of the American colonies called it God’s wrath, and given how the city was essentially a mix between Amsterdam and Las Vegas, who could argue against that? Find out all this and more for yourself by reading Talty’s exciting book.

One book that I found left a lasting impression on me was “Paper Towns” by John Green.

Green is one of the geniuses behind the wildly popular YouTube vlog know as Vlogbrothers, or Brotherhood 2.0. He’s also written three young adult novels (four, if you count the one that’s coming out in January) and one collaborative novel with David Levithan.

Although all his books are wonderful, my favorite is “Paper Towns.” In this book, Green paints a wonderful picture that takes a peek into what it’s like to move on in one’s life.

“Paper Towns” is about a high school student named Quentin, better known to his friends as Q, who has been in love with his neighbor, Margo Roth Speigelman, for most of his life. However, when she disappears, Q begins following a trail of clues that leads him to believe that Margo is not the girl he thought she was, and becomes unsure of the girl he was in love with.

Throughout the book, Green’s characters become real. Q’s friends, Radar and Ben, are both witty and realistic, portraying that it’s natural to be just a little bit nerdy. They’re the kind of friends that anyone would want beside them. They are insightful, but also a little immature, and always funny.

While “Paper Towns” is full of laughs and fun moments, it can also be sad, and has a wise lesson. Q is completing his last year of High School, and finds himself reminiscing on his high school days. At one point, while listening to his friends tell stories he says, “It was a kind of sad I didn’t mind, and so I just listened, letting all the happiness and the sadness of this ending swirl around in me, each sharpening the other. For the longest time, it felt kind of like my chest was cracking open, but not precisely in an unpleasant way.” This is an emotion that many students, especially new college students, might be familiar with. Moving on in your life can be sad and painful, but can also be good and liberating.

This is the message that “Paper Towns” is trying to communicate. Life involves goodbyes, but with every goodbye, there is a hello.

This book, which is inspiring, touching, and also hilarious is a great read for anyone, especially those of us who sometimes need to be reminded of how to let go.

In the early 1990s, many of us were carefree kids enjoying the fruits of life. The economy was good, TV series like Animaniacs and Full House were a regular staple, and there wasn’t really a care in the world. Though many of us were young, we learned either through school or the History Channel that the early 1990s in Europe were also times of terror. At the time, the country of Yugoslavia (just east of Italy) was imploding.

Having just overcome nearly a century of communist dictatorial rule, the multi-ethnic state was now rife with nationalism and sectarianism. The ethnic Serbs, Croats, Slovenians, and Bosnians were attempting to make new countries based on their ancestral, (sometimes) religious, linguistic, and racial backgrounds.

Having lost its former control of Slovenia, Croatia, and Macedonia, the Serbian-run state made it a duty not to lose Bosnia. From the capital in Belgrade, the ailing Yugoslavian government headed by president Milosevic started a campaign to cleanse all Bosnians out of the country, and to protect the Serbian minorities elsewhere.  In Bosnia, the hated Serbs were ruthlessly attacked and murdered to reciprocate for the purges against the Bosnians.

There exist many famous images of concentration camps and killing fields reported on the news at the time, leaving Europe with the worst genocidal crisis since World War II. The crisis with Kosovo would occur in the late 1990s, but the origin of the problem started with the crisis in Bosnia.

So we now look into the home of the Heleta family, a Serb family living in the Bosnian capital of Sarajevo. Savo, the son, tells us his terrifying story of how day-by-day, their formerly happy lives were ruined.

First the children couldn’t play with their Bosnian friends. Then food and work travel became hazardous. Finally, to avoid getting blown up or shot, they couldn’t even leave the house.

Having been literally robbed and savaged by the Bosnian militants, the Heleta’s position is similar to a concentration camp. There is no electricity, no phone, and every day is a painful attempt to stay alive, no matter what needs to be done or eaten.

While reading this book, the reader begins to feel personally attached to the family. Urges of wanting to jump into the book and strangle the smug militants teemed within me. The true anger, accounts of terror, and glimmers of hope cannot be truly described in words.

Time was running out; the Heletas could either remain in their imprisoned housing and die slowly, or risk getting shot in order to escape the city. Throughout this entire memoir, one can’t help but wonder if Savo and his family will die, lose many loved ones, or never find any kind of hope.

I’ll leave it to you to read what happened to Savo’s family, and how he got where he is today (living in South Africa). One thing is for sure, by reading Heleta’s “Not My Turn to Die: Memoirs of a Broken Childhood in Bosnia” you will keep in mind that evil still exists in the world, and it doesn’t come from a rogue Saudi militant or anarchist terrorist.

As Europe and the world rediscovered in the 1990s, mass ethnic cleansing is still possible, and genocide can happen again at any time. But perhaps, the most important discovery of all is the human will to survive, and even forgive those who might try to kill you.

The pure feelings of emotion, details of sorrow, and glimmering lights of hope in this book cannot be truly expressed in one review, so I leave it to you to read Heleta’s story, the human story.

Book cover © 1995 Health Communications

Abuse is the one thing no one wants a child to go through. In “A Child Called It,” an autobiography by David Pelzer, that’s exactly what he has to go through most of his childhood.

The book starts off by talking about the good old days when David and his family would go on car rides through the park and vacation to the Russian River every summer. Back then, his loving mother and father would do anything in the world for the family.

Everything was perfect, until one day when their loving mother turned into a raging wench. Then the abuse happened.

David was forced to do all of the chores in the house and whatever else his mother could think of, like washing dishes with scalding hot water.

In the book, David struggles between life and death for many years. He never knows what’s coming next, never knows when his next meal is or when he’ll ever feel like a real child again and not some ragged “bad boy.”

The first time I read this book, it made me cry when I pictured all of his mother’s terrible acts. It was hard for me to believe that someone could treat a child in such a horrendous way that the child has to hang on to everything they have to live.

I love this book, because it proves  that with a little bit of will power, anyone can survive even the worst of things. I especially like the way he explains his mother as a “heartless bitch;” she completely deserves that title. I hate the person his mother turned out to be, and personally, she should be locked up in a cell somewhere for the rest of her life.

I liked the father in the beginning. He is written as his son’s superhero, but as the book went on I started to compare him to a worthless piece of trash, lower than the ground itself. The only thing worse than an abuser is a person who watches the abuse happen every single day and does nothing about it which is exactly what he does.

This is a terrifically written book that both shows the reader what sort of hell David had to go through and also how even a small child can brave through such a terrible experience.

This book is not for everyone, especially children. However, I highly recommend this book to mature readers looking for a good read.