Does the theory of ‘normal’ exist as a universal constant?

One often hears “this is not normal” about some idea, activity or phenomenon. I have been thinking a lot about this phrase, especially since my arrival to the U.S.

What is normal? Is it actually possible to determine what normal is? Some will probably say yes, but most would just shrug their shoulders.

What is considered normal is something generally accepted as truth by a person or group. A scientific example of this is what is considered “normal blood pressure.”

It is important for our health to have blood pressure within a normal range, because we cannot be healthy and full of energy with too high or too low of blood pressure.

If the majority lives with a blood pressure around 120/80, this does not mean that a person who has 130/85 is going to die—it just might be his nature; this might be the way he was born.

Knowing that there is no fixed “normal,” it is odd that some people think one thing to be disrespectful while others take it as perfectly normal.

From my own experience, there are some stark differences between traditions in the United Sates and in Russia.

For example, if a child sits on the floor in Russia he will be told that this behavior is wrong. In the United States however, you can sit on the floor wherever and whenever you want.

Are people in the U.S. made differently than people from Russia? No. This is just a social tradition.

Another example is this: it is customary in the U.S. to thank people for the compliments they make. Failing to do so means you will be considered impolite or unfriendly.

In Russia, conversely, you are still expected to thank the one giving a compliment, but you are also expected to say that you don’t deserve this compliment, because you are actually not that good and you still have to learn a lot. Otherwise you will be considered boastful about yourself. If you diminish your achievements, you will be considered modest, and therefore, correct accept the compliment.

What an American will see as normal behavior, a Russian will take as an insult or oddity. If you smile at a person in the street in Russia, you will be looked at strangely. The person will likely think you are smiling because he has something funny on his face or he will literally assume you are crazy.

Knowing these differences exist culturally, regionally, and personally, why do we still negatively judge certain behavior, opinions, religions or traditions as “normal” or “not normal?”

Even within the same nation, people have different opinions on what is normal and what is not.

Most of the time, instead of regarding these differences as a unique treasure in each other, we build a wall between us, using these differences. This happens not only between people belonging to different nations, but even among people in small communities.

People behaving even a little bit differently from the entire crowd are usually considered strange or laughable. The crowd treats these people in different ways: from being amazed and respecting them to laughing at and misunderstanding them. But looking closer, are we – the members of the crowd – really the same?

Maybe it is just easier to behave like everyone else and accept some vague concept of “normalcy.”

In this case you won’t have any trouble – you will be understood by most of the people, who, like you, are trying hard to bury their individuality in order to serve the crowd. You will have a clear idea about what should be considered right or wrong, and what behavior is appropriate in each situation. In reality, you won’t have to think. What result do we have here?

You will have a “normal” life, you will wake up at the same time and do the same thing every day, actually turning yourself into an animal, who has only physical needs. You won’t stop to think, because you won’t have to. Everything has already been solved by the crowd, including behavior and opinions.

Isn’t it much easier to say that, for example, “Twilight” is the best book in the world, just because you heard someone say so? It will take you much more time to read a couple of dozens of different books and take time to build your own opinion.

But guess what? Once you do that, you will see that people will be interested in talking to you.

Not the people from the “in” crowd,  perhaps. These people will only argue with you without presenting the opinions. But people who have their own opinion, who have read a lot and who take time to ask questions, to think, and possibly to give answers, to live, will accept and appreciate you for who you are.

To live like a human possessing freedom, and not like a slave of society or just an animal with basic everyday needs means that you will have life, your own life, full of interesting people and days. You will also see the diversity and you will like it and treasure it in every person.

Learning how to appreciate the differences in other people will prevent you from measuring everyone just according to some standard pattern, because when you see that you are different, you will see that everyone is different and you will feel the beauty of it.

Differences and diversity are what make the world beautiful. If everyone shared the same opinion and emotional reaction, life would be boring.