Valentine’s day not for ‘singles’

There’s no doubt about it: Valentine’s Day sucks (for the single people that is). All the couples run around, proclaiming their love, exchanging presents, flowers, candy, etc., etc., etc., while we single people cry over a pint of Ben and Jerry’s,  and watch chick flicks with crumpled up tissues covering the floor. Okay, okay, I’m exaggerating, but you know what I’m talking about.

Valentine’s Day started out with Saint Valentine holding secret marriage ceremonies of soldiers in opposition to Claudius II who had prohibited marriage for young men. Claudius felt that married men were more emotionally attached to their families and wouldn’t make good soldiers. Saint Valentine was executed by Claudius due  to his crimes.

And thus, Valentine’s Day was born.

Instead of showing somebody you care just one day of the year, why not show it every day? You don’t need a ‘holiday’ to do that. Heck, if it were an actual holiday, we wouldn’t have to go to school. And what is Valentine’s Day supposed to show anyway? Is it just some secret thing where if you get your significant other chocolates and flowers, then they’ll forget about everything bad that’s happened in the past year? It seems to me like Valentine’s Day is just an excuse to buy somebody’s affection, instead of truly earning it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a single young woman bent on giving grief to everyone else who’s dating. I do have reasons to not like Valentines Day.

Here are the top five reasons why I hate Valentine’s Day.

1. It’s cheesy. I mean, HELLO? Who wants a teddy bear as tall as and/or bigger than themselves?

2. Its origins. Yes, it’s based on what I said earlier, but how exactly? Did somebody just declare that February 14th was going to be a day stuffed with chocolate and hearts?

3. Exploitation of chocolate. Yeah, you know what I mean. “You’d better give me chocolate or else!” ‘Nuff said.

4. The weird candy and cards. No, you cannot be mine. No, I will not sniff that.

5. Cupid. Really? A flying man in a diaper shooting people with love arrows? I mean, who comes up with this stuff??

So all of you haters (and lovers): Have a great, terrible, magnificent, devastating Valentine’s Day!