Respect is a two way street, take both ways

When I was searching for the topic for my next article, a student recommended that I talk about respect. Out of interest I asked her to explain why I should write such an article. She went on to explain how she was appalled at the way some of her fellow students addressed and interacted with their professors. The lack of manners and courtesies was deeply upsetting to her, so I thought that I would address the two sides of the concept of respect.

Respect has two distinctive sides. It is a process rather than an event. One person acknowledges the authority or position of another and in return that person of authority should display due regard and value of the subordinate. As an army officer, I know that soldiers of a lower rank are required by law to salute me and address me as “Sir.” While some might say that this is a sign of respect, it is really just an acknowledgement of my rank. Respect truly occurs when a salute is returned and value is acknowledged. By rendering a salute, a soldier conveys acknowledgement of an officer’s position and responsibility to lead. When an officer returns the salute, he is acknowledging the service of his/her soldiers. He also conveys that message that they understand the value of a soldier and will command with regards to the best interest of his subordinates.

One of the best ways to get respect is to demonstrate respect to others. If you are the boss, address people by their correct title. As an officer, I could call my soldiers simply by their last names, but every rank in the military is earned. Calling a soldier “Private Smith” instead of just “Smith” reminds him of something that he achieved. It acknowledges that even though I might be a higher rank, his rank is still important and deserving of acknowledgement.

I think Shakespeare said it best in his immortal play “Hamlet.” Hamlet tells his servants to treat actors as honored guests. When he is questioned about why he would treat common actors so well, he reminds them that if everyone were treated as they truly deserved we would all end up being whipped. By demonstrating generosity in the respect you offer others, your reputation in the eyes of others will be greatly improved.

Be the person that everyone wants; be an example of respectability in acknowledging others, and you will find yourself receiving more respect.

Showing respect is not a matter of reducing or belittling yourself in front of a superior. For example, students pay tuition here at CSC which in turns pays the salary of professors. Therefore, students are really the employers of professors. Right? Well, maybe. Students seek the knowledge they need to succeed in life beyond the campus. Students should demonstrate respect to professors who have dedicated years of their lives in mastering subjects that students need to be successful. Therefore, the professors are in charge. Right? No, in all reality, the relationship is interdependent and respect is shared throughout the relationship. Demonstrating respect for professors in no way belittles the students and demonstrating respect for students in part of the profession of teaching.

How do you know if you are on the wrong track? If you constantly have to point at your rank or remind people of your title to get them to do what you want, you aren’t displaying respect to them and in return you will not receive any. You may want to rethink your approach to those around you. Treat everyone with the respect than you think you deserve and you will be rewarded with respect by all that you meet.