Mistakes to avoid when speaking with veterans

With an end of the War in Iraq and a withdrawal date set for operations in Afghanistan, military veterans may see their support dwindle in the future.

However, the cessation of foreign conflicts will provide many who have served their country a chance to return to colleges, like CSC, to continue their education that often was not possible during their time of service. While this institution provides excellent support, individual students and community members should consider the following suggestions to help servicemen re-enter the academic life.

DON’T ASK FOR WAR STORIES

Once you find out that the person you are addressing is a veteran, don’t immediately ask for war stories. Keep in mind that experiences in war are seldom pleasant. Also a veteran’s war story really only covers at best 0.1 percent of what it meant to be deployed. When everyone wants to hear about the heroic actions of combat, no one ever asks about the months of training, the hours of boredom, the hundred unheroic tasks that a serviceman performs daily.

DON’T ASK HOW MANY KILLS THEY’VE GOT

The purpose of the U.S. Military extends far beyond simply killing. Some of the bravest and most critical soldiers I have ever worked with did not have the primary mission of being Combat Arms. To judge a veteran based off the number of “kills” insults all the brave service members with tasks such as transportation, medics, communications, mechanics, etc.

Even if you are addressing a veteran that did have the task of being a “trigger puller,” the experience of taking life is never pleasant. A veteran does not need to be reminded of deaths caused in the line of duty.

DON’T SAY WHAT YOU WOULD’VE DONE

If you are lucky enough to have a veteran share his story with you, don’t state how you would have felt or reacted. Even the best poet could not tell you the true events of their experience. Responding to an enemy attack or other stressful event is much more of a response of conditioning verses cognitive thought.

DON’T INSINCERELY THANK THEM

Please don’t thank veterans for their service unless you mean it. Don’t thank veterans as if it is some obligation of federal holidays. If you believe in the value of their service, thank them.

DON’T LECTURE THEM ON YOUR VIEW OF WAR

Don’t lecture veterans your opinion of the war that they fought in. They were there and saw firsthand the impact of the war. You at best know what the media and textbooks have told you. You as a novice have little grounds to justify your opinions against their experiences.

DON’T PROD THEM ABOUT INJURIES

Don’t ask if a veteran was injured in war. In some degree, every veteran was injured. Imagine living for a year in a place so dusty that it could turn the sky orange or living by a constantly burning trash pile. Beyond that, there are several other things that threaten the health of service members and not all of them are combat related.

Would you ever ask anyone else you ran across if they were physically or mentally disabled? I am guessing not. So why is it a common question to ask veterans? Even if a veteran was disabled many of them return to military service and still can outperform many civilian athletes. Don’t think a veteran’s scars are a mark of inability.

If you can follow these simple suggestions you will be doing a great service to the veterans that cross your path. Always remember that these individuals are unique and have made a critical impact on world history. Their experiences are valuable and they deserve all the respect that can be provided to them.