Love and war aren’t always fair

We live in a disposable culture. Increasingly the products we demand are not intended for years of reliable service. We prefer to buy cheap items that we can simply throw away when they have served their purpose.

So I was not surprised when I was sent an article by a fellow soldier entitled “42 reasons not to date a veteran.” It seems only logical that this disposable mentality would eventually include military veterans. While veterans appreciate the community support when returning from deployment, our long term outlooks can appear very bleak if we are considered less than acceptable boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands or wives. It breaks my heart to think that the finest and bravest of our country are being cast aside. Knowing some incredible single veterans in America, I would like to advocate on their behalf.

DUTIFUL–Veterans are unique individuals who sacrificed their own freedom to preserve the freedoms of others. They placed their own safety below the safety of others. They sacrifice so much for individuals they don’t even know. Many will claim that not all veterans were motivated by their sense of service to join the military. It is true that many come due to educational benefits or stable paychecks. However, even if their service was not motivated by virtue, their actions were filled with it. Even if their motivations were less than purely patriotic, their deeds far outweigh those who choose not to serve.

LOYAL–Veterans tend to be fiercely loyal. Imagine living in environments that your life depended on total teamwork. The survival of the unit was dependent of every member displaying loyalty to the unit. Loyalty becomes a survival mechanism and is therefore held among the highest virtues in the minds of veterans.

EXPERIENCE–Veterans often have very rich experiences. Being placed in extremely traumatic situations, these men and women tend to look at life in a much different manner. These experiences provide veterans with wonderful stories. While their civilian counterparts might talk about summer jobs or vacations, you will find veterans telling stories about traveling the world, acts of heroism, and making strategic impacts which have shaped the modern world. These experiences make veterans fascinating individuals. Instead of focusing on the negative impacts of PTSD, many veterans will turn to the arts like music, writing, and poetry to express and process their war-time experiences. Who among us would turn down the opportunity to date the romantic “warrior-poet?”

FORTITUDE–Veterans placed in combat environments learn how to live simple. In many cases, they live with far less than what normal civilians tend to consider the necessities of life. They learn to face hardship on a daily bases. This tends to make these individuals have incredible endurance to the hardships of life. They are not going to run at the first hint of problems. They understand that they can endure and get through rough times.

DECISIVE–Unlike many in modern culture, veterans learn how to be decisive. In the absence of orders, they can evaluate their situation and make a plan to move forward. When provided the opportunity to lead, they will do so. You will tend not to get the response “I don’t know, baby. Where do you want to go?” when asking a veteran what they want to do.

There are multiple other reasons why you should consider dating a veteran. They tend to be fit and live active life-styles. They are almost guaranteed to love your home cooking, even if you are a bad cook (If you ever had military food you would understand). They tend to be family focused. And who doesn’t love a veteran in uniform?

While veterans do have their own unique challenges when returning home, these are not enough to treat them as disposable. They have a hard enough time adjusting without having to worry about articles circulating about why they should be considered un-dateable.

Regardless of the reason they joined the military, they risked their lives for the American people. So, I encourage you to give a veteran a chance. They may just find that their virtues far outweigh their faults.