Friday, March 6, 2026
The CSC Eagle Newspaper – Chadron, NE
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The CSC Eagle Newspaper – Chadron, NE
Lifestyles

Reap the fruits of procrastination …tomorrow

Sara Labor
The ultimate time waster, Facebook, is a perfect place for procrastinators. Photo illustration by T.J. Thomson
The ultimate time waster, Facebook, is a perfect place for procrastinators. Photo illustration by T.J. Thomson

With a few pounds put on because of Christmas cookies, and absolutely no work done, I am now returning to the life I belong to. Some of you may think that the life I’m talking about is the life of a college student. You would be wrong. No, I am talking about the life of a procrastinator.

I’m here to teach you, my fellow students, how to be a professional procrastinator. If you actually want to be productive, you should definitely not follow any of these tips.

1. The Internet is your best friend:

I recently was told by a friend that Pinterest is a conspiracy propagated by the patriarchs in our society to show women how to do things that they will never actually accomplish because they’re too busy spending all their time on Pinterest. Pinterest, according to my friend, is holding women back from their dreams because they’re devoting all their time to a website.

So maybe this conspiracy theory is a little over the top. However, if I’m in almost any class where a laptop is open, there is at least one person on Facebook.

In fact, as I write this, I am jumping back and forth from Word Processor to Tumblr. It’s inevitable, once you get on the internet, odds are you’re going to surf.

If you want to be a professional procrastinator, go online, open seven tabs, and bounce between Tumblr, Facebook, and Youtube. It’ll be four in the morning before you know it.

2. Get a gaming console:

My dad has a wii and my roommate has an Xbox. I don’t remember ever playing as many video games as I played over this past break.

Before break, I made a pretty, shiny list of books I had to read. By the end of my six days at my dad’s house, I had only 10 pages read, but claimed the high score with “Call Me Maybe” on “Just Dance 4.”

While my roommate is at work, I try to sneak in some time playing Fable II. I’ve finished it three times, and I just finished Fable III for the fourth time. But I just can’t stop.

If you’re looking for a time waster, those gaming consoles don’t disappoint.

3. Try marathon television watching:

Something that is magical about our generation is that we have easy access to television shows whenever we want them. I don’t even have cable and I watch more television than I remember doing in high school.

I am addicted to every television show from “Doctor Who” to “How I Met Your Mother” to “Weeds.” Netflix is a glorious creation if you don’t feel like doing anything worthwhile.

I like to do what a friend of mine calls “marathon television watching.” I once spent four hours watching “How I Met Your Mother.” I finished the six seasons that were on Netflix in less than a month.

Marathon television watching is a great way to avoid real work. Try it sometime. You’ll be stuck with a bunch of useless knowledge about television shows.

4. Be productive elsewhere:

Sometimes when I know I have a big paper due, I clean. And I never like to clean. However, on a Saturday when I know I should be working on homework, I might wake up and see a pile of dishes. Well I can’t work on homework until those dishes are done, right?

Rearrange your closet, vacuum your room, and all of sudden hours have passed and you are no closer to having anything you meant to do done.

In all seriousness, take your semester by storm. A little bit of procrastination can be a good thing, but a little bit of homework and productivity is even better. Welcome back to school and good luck this semester.