Violence can be the answer?

My oldest son broke down in tears a few weeks ago when he told me that he was being bullied in school.  The seven-year-old was powerless and said that attempts to seek help had failed. To complicate matters further, the “go-tell-a-teacher” non-violent approach to bullying being taught in his school contradicts my family’s warrior culture.

I was horrified by how my son was lied to by the myth: that non-violent means are the only resort to oppression. With just and proportionate application of violence being a complex and value-laden issue, our society chose to ignore education on this difficult topic. The consequences of this action may be devastating on our future generations.

Please do not get me wrong. I have seen the absolute horrors of war, and I do not support the use of violence as a primary means to solve any problem. However, I also understand that some situations require the proportional threat or use of violence in order to bring people back to peaceful means of resolving conflicts. Non-violent solutions are not always possible.

Think about an average citizen to encounter. Say you witness a man abusing his wife. Your natural response would be contact the police. At which time, a law enforcement officer would arrive, evaluate the situation and apply the appropriate level of physical force to end the situation. This force might be as simple as drawing his/her pistol as a display of force.

Or it might require the use of force from a taser, pepper-spray, or baton. As a last resort, deadly force is utilized. Therefore, your response of contact authorizes might not be as non-violent as we lead our children to believe. We simply ask someone else to do violence on our behalf.

Sure, it is a lot harder to teach the just application of violence. This is especially true when it comes to children. But just because my son is young doesn’t mean that he is incapable of grasping these ideas. I have always found that young boys want to be the hero and will often idolize police and/or soldiers. If they are provided the proper education on the use of escalation of force, they use it rather effectively. And I would rather have my sons dreaming of becoming heroes than feeling like they are powerless.

Just as with teaching any other subject, there is a learning curve. Students will at times incorrectly apply theories. This is where mentorship comes into play. I am sure that my sons will probably end up getting in a fight sometime in their childhood. I am also sure that you will likely lose a fight too. But each of these situations provides a valuable learning experience.

The pain of losing a fight can bring an individual closer to the realization that violence is not the optimal option and should only be used in dire situations. Even the best fighters in the world are not guaranteed to win fights outside the arena where there are not rules.

The more proficient individuals become in martial arts, the more they realize that the outcome is largely based on luck. This can act as a strong deterrent against acting through physical violence. While this seems to be illogical, those that are most practiced in fighting know when to avoid fights.

The true problem facing our society is not the presence of violence in our culture, it’s that the violence that is occurring is not being used appropriately. Until we are willing to start educate our children about how and when to use violence, we will continue to have no control over the use of unjust applications of violence.