President quits smoking: scared of first lady
CNN captured a candid conversation Monday between President Obama and Maina Kiai, United Nations Special Rapporteur. Obama asked Kiai if he still smoked. The President then joked about his reason for quitting.
“I’m scared of my wife.”
That’s what all the headline news shows chose to lead with Tuesday morning. It might seem like the remark was a little bit of levity to break the ice, and it was framed as a sheepish “Oops, the microphone was still on?” type comment, but give me a moment to don my tin-foil headgear.
The narrative we were fed prior to this revelation is that the President quit when he signed the Affordable Care Act into law. But with this shocking news it makes me wonder; if Dr. Obamacare is too scared to smoke a cigarette because the ball-and-chain will find out, what does that say about the rest of his decision making?
I can picture a married gentlemen reading this, shaking his head, and saying, “Spike, you’ve got a lot to learn.”
But I beg you to stick with me. Not only is Obama the leader of the Free World, he’s a grown man, man. Instead of acting like a grown man, he’s acting like a married man; always cowing to what the missus says.
On Tuesday, the new Iranian President, Hassan Rouhani, addressed the United Nations, but Obama refused to even do so much as shake the guy’s friggen hand. There were rumors about a sidelines meeting between the two, but those hopes disintegrated.
I’ll go ahead and make a baseless assumption that Michelle’s “Honey-Do” list didn’t mention publicly restoring diplomatic ties with a nation whom we’ve had rocky relations with for the past 36 years.
And while I’m making crazy accusations; let’s throw in a couple more.
The NSA wire tapping expansion was actually at the behest of Michelle, so she could eavesdrop on the rest of the beltway wives gossip, record it, and then confront them for talking smack behind her back.
The Hawaiian vacations that conservative Facebook pages are constantly obsessing over? Those are Michelle’s fault too.
If I were Obama, I’d kick the old lady out of the White House and fly solo for a while. As a mid-twenties male living in solitude, I need a strong, independent role model like that. Besides, we haven’t had a “Bachelor-in-Chief” since Woodrow Wilson.
Before you pull the quill out the inkwell and set down to write a nasty letter to the editor, disregard everything I’ve said and go back to the rest of the headlines from this week.
The government is teetering on shutdown, costing millions of dollars in man-hours and creating suffering for pretty much every single government employee, all because Congress can’t learn to shut up and deal with Obamacare.
Terrorists seized a mall in Kenya, but the U.S. military is preoccupied in their African mission. Yes, they are still on a hunt for Joseph Kony sparked by a 2012 YouTube video.
An earthquake in Pakistan killed 300 people, and there are daily bombings across Iraq.
The Syrian people are still marching to slaughter in a pointless civil war.
At home there were mass shootings in Chicago and D.C., and the reports would rather confront gun control than the underlying cause of most gun violence; poverty and inadequate access to mental health services.
Of all the stories an editor could have picked, “Why Obama Quit Smoking” ate up airtime and filled twitter feeds.
We wonder why Americans keep getting dumber and dumber, my guess is because the news media has failed the most basic journalistic function: keep the public informed.