Costume hunting can be haunting

Alright ladies, it’s that time of year again; the time of year when you decide just how disappointed you want to make your parents. That’s right, it’s Halloween season. Although we look forward to the holiday each year, we don’t look forward to the struggle that comes with it. Months and months of planning for a costume that won’t survive the night, the love/hate relationship that comes with a bowl of candy on the table and the weight room, and most of all, the moral struggle we face between funny, sexy, and comfort.

One of the biggest struggles of Halloween is with your wallet. “I’ll make my costume this year, it’ll be cheaper.” …. three hours later, we find ourselves knee deep in glitter, fabric, and our own tears, cutting feathers with the hot glue burned nubs once known as fingers. Cue the Amazon search now. We try to make the craft chaos more fun by making a group project out of it. More fun they say? Yeah, my idea of fun isn’t watching my friends turn into Project Runway designers while I’m sitting there struggling to open the glue.

After the costume is finished and/or delivered, we face the struggle of going out in the costume. Of course, we didn’t buy the costume that tennis shoes match. No. We bought the costume that requires six-inch knee-high boots with seven zippers, two buckles, and a passcode requiring the blood from our baby toe to wear. Halloween is the only night that society chooses to walk a marathon in the most uncomfortable shoes they own. And need I mention the struggle of duct tape costumes? You should never commit to a costume that doesn’t allow you to use the restroom without using scissors, and three friends.

Finally, could someone please explain to me why the holiday that suggests the least amount of clothing is also the holiday that hands out the most candy? We’re expected to dress as belly dancers when candy corn has moved to a major food group?

Since we’re on the candy topic, let’s reflect a moment on fun size candy bars. I’m just going to say there is nothing fun about a candy bar 1/3 the size of real candy bar. If I’m going to indulge, I don’t want to indulge halfway.

Halloween is a hassle. No if, ands, or buts about it. Why we continue to participate in the struggle, I have no clue. What I do know is the following: The walk of shame is a million times worse in a cop costume, just because you’re dressed up like something doesn’t mean you possess the magical abilities that the “real” character does, and there is something weirdly satisfying about reliving your childhood. Have a happy Halloween and best wishes on the costume search.