Gimmicks ruin rather than create

For those of you that don’t know, the a cappella group Pentatonix released a new album a while back or something. Whatever.

I honestly don’t like them enough to review it, and I’ve been told that if you don’t care about something, you should probably just ignore it.

But I don’t have a choice.  Their videos infest my news feed and the other editors in the newsroom have been playing their songs on loop.

I haven’t been able to put my finger on it, but something about Pentatonix hits a sore nerve.  Since I’m a very opinionated young man, I’ve had to keep my criticism quiet; I don’t need to create a hostile work environment.

But I can’t keep silent when, with all the good and original music that’s out there, people choose to lend their ears to useless crap-covered covers. In my smug media opinion: Pentatonix is little more than diligently unimaginative pop garbage.

If you hate Pentatonix as much as I do, you’re probably nodding to yourself in silent agreement.  However, if you’re a vehement Pentatonix fan, you’re probably pouting.

“But they’re so talented!” I’ve heard people try to argue.

Well isn’t that neat! I suppose I should just shut up and laud them on that merit.  But… I won’t.

Honestly, what does their talent have to do with anything? I understand that the five members of the group are blessed with wonderful voices.  They’ve devoted time and discipline to sculpt their instruments to create really beautiful noise. I can respect that, because I certainly don’t have an ounce of that dedication or talent.

But what are they doing with all that talent?  They’re pissing it away in “edgy” Youtube cover videos. That’s it.

Maybe I’ve lost the plot. Maybe that’s the true benchmark of a “ground breaking recording artist” these days; slapping in some colored contact lenses and shooting a Daft Punk cover medley.  It’s genius, man.  Pure. Unbridled. Genius.

I guess I should be beside myself in awe, admiring the creative passion that must’ve taken. Surely Pentatonix will live on in the annals of music history forever.  I would like to pause and personally thank them for their continued selfless contributions to the betterment of the human condition.

And let me push this fan-base hatred to even further levels of absurdity.  I propose that we should set aside a national Pentatonix Day, where we can all take time off from work to honor everything they’ve done to keep America free.

Or better yet, we can devote a day of the week so that we may go and worship at the font of our talented musical saviors, from which all creative holiness flows.

My favorite author, Steve Aylett, has said that originality is an itch that you have to evolve to scratch.  Despite their remarkable talent and gimmicky videos, there’s nothing original about Pentatonix.

Face the music: their only claim to fame is that they can cover songs very well.  Outside of that, they suck.