Difficult situations can help you grow

In September of 2011, I decided I was going to kill myself.  I walked to the medicine cabinet, took every single pill I could find, and listened to some Pink Floyd, waiting for my life to end.

It was in that moment I had an epiphany about life; if you choose to end your life like that, then you are letting everybody who has ever put you down win.

I started to freak out and I called 911.  Looking back, I am so thankful that I came to my senses.  I could have hurt a lot of people that I cared about.  Every day, I wake up, and I thank the power that be that I’m here.

In the past, I’ve written a lot about relationships, self-help, and the like.  Sometimes, I have people come up to me and tell me that my advice helped them in some ways.  I find that to be extremely ironic considering I have never had a real girlfriend.

But in writing this, I wanted to share a bit of personal experience, mostly because I hope that people don’t end up the same way I did.

Thanks to high school and school in general, I graduated with some pretty low self-esteem.  To this day, I still struggle with depression and its grasp over my soul.

I have never spoken about it publically before, mostly to save face.  The truth, though, is there are a lot of people that don’t talk about their depression.

In a study done in 2011 by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in 10 adults in the USA said they have depression.  Remember that the next time you feel down about something; there are a lot of people out there who probably feel the same way you do.

Because of my depression, self-confidence has never been a strong suit.  Talking to people can be intimidating, and not always easy.  However, when you can break that barrier, it feels pretty good to get to know other people.

I had an experience like that last year with a close friend I had.  We got pretty close over a period of time, and it made me feel good about myself to know that there was someone out there who I could talk to.

Unfortunately, our friendship came to an end this past break.  Ironically, it’s the reason I’m writing this.  The experience has put me through a lot mentally.  But it has taught me a lot about life and moving on.

Things like that are going to happen to you, whether you like it or not.  Relationships will start, only to be gone in a short period of time.  And yes, it is going to suck having to go through all of that, but there is a bittersweet beauty that arises out of the experience.

In finding yourself possibly crying over someone, remember this; you are feeling, and that is how you know you are truly alive. Remember that. Keep fighting, no matter what life throws at you.