Forgive those who have wronged you

We can all be sensitive to others’ negative criticism, especially when the criticism is not constructive and/or is coming from someone who is not trained to give it.

It is unpleasent, but there will be people in each of our lives who do this to us. It might have been a bully in junior high, it might have been a teacher in high school, it might be someone you associate with during your time in college.

Whoever it may be, they will catch you when you are off gurad, they will scold you for no good reason, they will make up lies to add to their threats and whatever else they can do to make you feel bad.

While it is sometimes necessary to abide by the demands that may be embedded within the criticism — as to minimalize potential subsequent bullying and therefore to reduce your stress — such criticism should not sway your happiness.

There is a fable that originates from zen philosophy, a branch of Mahayana Buddhism philosophy, that illustrates this belief. The following is an adaptation of the fable:

Spring came to a small town one day and with it came the warmth of the sun, the rain of march, and therefore, of course, much mud.

In this town was one couple that was completely happy minding their own business, and content taking a stroll hand-in-hand down a sidewalk to enjoy the weather.

On their walk, the couple reached a run of mud that enveloped the further parts of the sidewalk. Before this run of mud the couple encountered the queen-bee of the town.

Upon seeing the couple, the queen-bee crossed her arms  and stuck her nose up in the air, letting her golden locks fall off her high-strung shoulders as she addressed the couple.

“Hey. You two. Yeah you. Stop holding hands and carry me across this muddy mess. Do you expect me to cross it myself?”

The male of the couple, processing the queen-bee’s rudeness as reason enough to deny her demand, walked past the queen-bee to begin trecking through the mud.

However, the female did not follow her companion into the mud right away, but instead proceeded to pick the queen-bee up and carried her all the way across the very long trek of mud.

Upon seeing this, the male companion believed the queen-bee would be grateful for the lift, but as soon as she set the queen-bee down, the queen-bee scoffed at them.

“Hm! You two. Go away and hurry now. Remember, do not hold each other’s hand. And do not hug. Only I can be happy. And my status allows me to tell you to be unhappy.”

Instead of opposing the queen, the female continued down the sidewalk. The male followed momentarily after.

The two had walked down the sidewalk for a long time without holding hands when the male companion, perplexed by how the female handled the situation, had to confront her about it all.

“The queen was so mean, yet you did not retaliate in any way. Why did you not?”

The female chuckled merrily, “I put her down a long, long time ago. So why are you still carrying her?”

The male companion listened to her because — other than the axiom that the woman is always right — what good comes from letting others’ ill-intented actions poison your mind?