There’s beauty in graduation chaos

After countless cups of coffee, hours of lost sleep,  all the papers, projects, mini panic attacks and nervous breakdowns, it hit me.

In less than two weeks, I will have a college degree in my hands and I am starting my journey to be a successful independent woman. Sounds amazing, doesn’t it?

I would never guess I would feel so confused about graduation and finishing college.

I am excited to walk on that stage and for the first time in my life wear a cap and gown. I am excited to move my tassel from the left to the right side and finally hold the piece of paper in my hands that represents four years of work and dedication.

“What will you do after you graduate?” is the world’s most terrifying question. I am trying to finish up my projects, pass all of my classes with a decent grade—although senioritis is real—hang out with friends and actually enjoy the last few weeks of being a college student.

I do not know what I will do this weekend so… Figuring out my whole life sounds a little too serious for me.

I do not want to think how it will be to be a grown up, have a real job, and not be able to roll out of bed and go straight to class in sweat pants and with messy hair.

I am not ready to stop being a kid who complains about the amount of homework and coffee she has every day.

Do not get me wrong. I am not scared. I have travelled 50,000 miles to be where I am now and to get my education. Nothing really tends to scare me. I am just confused and uncertain about my future.

In the past few months I have been trying to figure out my life, decide on what side of the world I will live and what I will do for a living. Apparently I should figure these things out because I am a grown up now.

It has been very stressful trying to decide where to apply, where to go, and how to get there.

One thing that really kept me going was something my mom told me: “Nikad nije bilo da nikako nije bilo.” This phrase means that there was never a situation or a period in our lives that nothing did happen.

Something always happened, regardless if it was great or terrible. I had to keep reminding myself that things will work out the way they need to work out and that even if they do not, it is not the end of the world.

It only means we will have to work harder and keep exploring our options.  You just have to stay patient and keep working in order to reach your goals.

I got the summer job and after the middle of August, I will have to start the search for a new job all over again. I have to go through the whole stressful process of finding my place in this world and actually get paid for it.

It might seem very confusing and too hectic, but there is a beauty in the knowledge that there are endless opportunities out there and so many places we can go, only if we want to chase our dreams.