10 ways that pizza is better than boys

1. If you pour ranch on pizza, it won’t break up with you.

Ranch is easily one of the best condiments out there, so who wouldn’t love anything smothered in it? Pizza is totally okay with being covered in ranch. But according to boys, being covered in ranch isn’t acceptable.

2. If pizza is cheesy it’s because you ordered it that way.

If you had to choose between hearing, “Hey baby, are you a broom? Because you just swept me off my feet,” or pulling a piece of pizza out of the box and watching the cheese stretch at least seven feet, which would you choose? I think we both know it’s the pizza. Also, stuffed crust. Enough said.

3. I don’t have to put makeup on for pizza.

Pizza will never judge you. The pizza and the consumer have a two-way relationship. They each give 90 percent and only expect 10 percent.

You don’t have to wear an expensive dress for dinner, you don’t have to do your makeup, you don’t have to shave your legs, and you don’t have to eat like a lady for pizza to love you.

4. Pizza won’t ignore you for video games.

Pizza comes in many flavors, shapes, and sizes, but there is one thing that is the same about every pizza: No matter what, you will always have its undivided attention.

5. Pizza will hang out with you all throughout the day.

With so many different flavors of pizza, there’s never a time throughout the day where it isn’t appropriate. You can start off the day with a hearty breakfast pizza. Then move on to lunch with a classic flavor, like cheese, pepperoni, or supreme. When it comes around to dinner time, you can get a little more fancy and go for the chicken alfredo pizza. And finally, for your midnight snack, dessert pizza.

6. Pizza won’t get jealous.

If a pizza sees you eating other foods, it won’t get jealous. It will just wait patiently, knowing in the back of its mind that you will soon give it the love it deserves.

7. Pizza will never break your heart.

There is no such thing as a perfect man, but there is definitely a perfect pizza. Pizza will never run away or kiss your sister. It will give you your space if you need time to think, but will always be there for you.

Pizza won’t insult your new sweater or get mad if you don’t text it back. It won’t hurt your feelings. And the best part: it’s always just one phone call away.

8. Pizza won’t argue with you.

Whether it’s about your lack of knowledge on football or your amplitude of knowledge on fashion, pizza knows you’re always right and it won’t even try to argue with you. Boys on the other hand, will argue with you over anything.

9. Pizza will cuddle with you.

It won’t steal the blankets in the middle of the night. Pizza won’t hog the bed. It won’t complain about you putting your cold feet or hands on its back.

10. Just because.

Pizza is pizza. That’s way more than enough of a reason for it to be better than boys.

And although pizza is better than boys, without boys, who would buy the pizza?