It’s OK to ask questions about what I’m missing
I‘m sure many of you have seen a
person with a disability before. I mean,
there are 48.9 million in the United States alone according to National Service
Inclusion Project. Heck, if you’ve ever seen
me around campus than you’ve seen one.
Yep, that’s right. I have a disability, though
I never really have considered it to be one.
I was born without my right arm. For all 18
years of my life, I have been going day to
day with just one arm. While it used to be
hard for me, now I’ve accepted it with both
arms wide open, metaphorically speaking, of
course.
That’s another thing I’ve started doing
as I’ve gotten older- making jokes and witty
remarks about it. In fact, most of the people
I know who have lived with a disability for
a long time do the same thing. It’s how we
cope with what we’re living with and how we
lighten the subject
around other people
who might be hesitant
around us. For
me specifically, I love
watching a person’s
face the first time I
make a one-armed
joke around them,
it’s my favorite part
about meeting new
people. There is
nothing like watching the color drain from
their face only for it to reappear seconds later
when I tell them that it is okay to laugh.
However, despite the obvious fun, it’s also
how I gently let people know that it’s okay
to talk about it with me. I’m okay with you
asking questions. I know that society has
trained people to look away, to not ask questions
because it might be uncomfortable or
every party involved. And while that may be
true for some, every person is different. For
most of us we’re okay with it and welcome the
questions. I am more than happy to answer
every question you have about my disability,
no matter how long it takes. I’d rather do that
than have you awkwardly stare at me in the
check-out line in the grocery store (trust me,
you’re not as inconspicuous as you might
think, we notice every time).
It might have taken me 18 years, but I have
finally accepted the fact that I am never going
to have a right arm, even if one day science
says I can. So I might as well tell people about
it and have some fun. If you even get close
enough to me, I welcome you to joke about
my disability. I’m always interested in what
people can come up with.
I encourage you two-armed, walking,
sighted and hearing folks to ask questions, to
get to know the person behind the disability.
Because I can assure you that we are really
cool people that have some pretty incredible
stories to tell (some might be true and some
might be false, that’s up to you to figure out).