Family values are changing, get over it

As a daughter of divorced parents and a sister to biological, step, half and adopted siblings I can say with full confidence that traditional American family values are not under attack, at least not an attack that isn’t well deserved.

Traditional American families are defined as two married parents in biological households. 

These nuclear families have been the supposed ‘preferred state’ of America since its founding. These households are often based in, gender role, Christianity, blood relation, anti-divorce, and heterosexuality ideations.

The compelling idea that gender roles in the U.S. are compromised is correct, men and women can both work to support the household, they can both receive an education, and they can both participate in household chores and childrearing.

In fact, according to the Department of Labor, 72.25% of women with at least one child under 18, were working in 2019. Despite earning less than men per hour, women still make up 43.8% of all hours worked in the U.S. 

Even though women are contributing more and more each year to the economy, 59% of women said they still do more household tasks than their male partners, according to the Pew Research Center.

Blood relations and childbearing is another thing that is strong in traditional families, this explains strong ties to only those who you share genetics with. 

In this version of family, genetics are the most important things when caring about someone else in a non-romantic context.

Many of us have heard the phrase “well they are still your (father, sister or brother)” when someone has wronged you, because of blood relations we are asked to put our morals aside and still love them. 

Being related to someone does not mean that they get away with anything, if you would break up with a friend over an issue than you should break up with family over it too.

I have eight younger siblings, two biological, one adopted, four step and one half and I can assure my connections to them are not greater with the biological ones. Blood doesn’t make a family, you do. 

According to the Center for Disease Control, the U.S. birth rate decreased 4% in 2020, not only due to pandemic related issues but overall decrease in pregnancies. For some, this may seem like a decrease in the family value of having children and maybe it is.

There were 421,418 kids in the foster care system in 2019 according to the Department of Health and Human Services- over 400,000 kids already born in need of a home. 

The fact of the matter is there are children that are in need of a family and yet traditional family values tell them that they do not belong.

Being anti-divorce in no way means that you are pro-family. While researching this topic I found that a lot of people used statistics that showed children of divorced parents were more likely to be depressed. 

In my opinion this has nothing to do with divorce and everything to do with toxic relationships.

I have divorced parents and their relationship before their divorce was not good. Just because we still lived in the same house doesn’t mean that our household was happy. 

Them staying together wasn’t going make our lives better, it would have just made them miserable.

In the end, there is a war on traditional American family values but there should be. Those values are outdated and by getting rid of them we create healthier more open households, ones that weren’t created in the 1600s.