There’s No Shame in Being a ‘Slut’

By Madyson Schliep

Slut Shaming: “Embarrassing, insulting or otherwise denigrating a girl or woman for her real or extrapolated sexual behavior, including for dressing in a sexual way, having sexual feelings and/or exploring and exhibiting them.” -Soraya Chemaly award winning author and activist.  

This is going to be a tough conversation to have, but it is time to stop slut shaming others, and especially your friends. 

Slut shaming is primarily directed at women, whether it be from other women or men, and it most commonly occurs on social media. Many believe it is okay to make comments about pictures people post because “you’ll never get a husband posting pictures like that.” 

Most slut shaming occurs because of something a woman is wearing – like a t-shirt – because, of course, they’re just so promiscuous. 

What people deem as promiscuous is entirely based on situations. If women wear a mini skirt and crop top to the grocery store they are cute, but if women wear the same outfit to a club or bar they are being a ‘slut’. But it is so much more than that. 

It is shaming women for sleeping with multiple men; calling someone a ‘slut’ for openly talking about having sex; or saying that a person was asking to be assaulted because of her outfit choices. 

Being afraid to discuss your sexual habits around your friends is a consequence of slut shaming. Feeling afraid of their others’ opinions or scared of the backlash from discussing sex topics with them, is suppression. 

Slut shaming assumes all different approaches but one thing remains central – slut shaming is violence against women. 

It is not only women who face the backlash, men suffer from it too. 

Here’s how. 

Because women are afraid of the backlash that comes with discussing their sexual desires and lives, men will not be able to learn about what women prefer from sex. In an 2016 article by the New York Times, slut shaming can ultimately lead to men having unsatisfactory sex. 

In a 2014 article by The Atlantic, two researchers lived in a college dorm with 53 girls and interviewed them from the time they were freshman through to their senior year. They discovered that there is no such thing as a ‘slut’, just what you view as being ‘slutty’. 

They also found that how women view someone being a ‘slut’ depended on their social class. Upper class women viewed a ‘slut’ as having sex outside of a relationship if it included penetration. Lower class women believed that sex should primarily occur within a relationship. 

The article also noted the lack of a key definition of what a ‘slut’ or being ‘slutty’ really is. 

In my experience sometimes two close female friends use it as a term of endearment toward one another, knowing it’s a derogatory reference, but meaning it jokingly. 

It is dropped daily by friends and foes alike. It is a hurtful word, so why do we continue to use it even as a joke? 

If we want slut shaming to stop shouldn’t we stop that kind of joking in our close relationships, lead by example and try to effect change.