Author: Jon Marquez

There I was in fourth grade math, trying my hardest to concentrate on the numbers when they danced straight off my page and began doing an elaborate production to the tune of “My Favorite Things.”

I know for a fact that as fun as smashing pumpkins is, eating them in a pie crust is ten thousand times better.

This year I felt like I needed to go all out for Halloween. I thought of many different costumes and nothing quite struck a chord.

The Alliance High School gymnasium was flooded with a sea of blue Bulldogs fans at the annual homecoming coronation. They chattered amongst each other, the noise echoing off the high ceilings. I fought the nervous feeling in my gut. This wasn’t just any other year for me—this was THE event that many high school band nerds live for.

Sometimes when I am very bored and I feel my eyes glazing over, I find it ridiculously entertaining to flip back and forth between random channels. During one of these channel-flipping sessions, I wound up comparing a story about apes on the Discovery Channel to the cast of MTV’s hit show, “Jersey Shore.” Surprisingly, the story lines are interchangeable!

Columnist Jon Marquez examines his addiction to red velvet cake and finds the habit isn’t worth kicking—unless it gives him a muffin top.

When walking around campus sometimes, all I can think about is muffins. Then it hits me: the girl walking in front of me is sporting a jumbo muffin top, with extra top.

Grandma and Dad recently made a trek up to Chadron, both to visit me and to check out the dorms that I live in. While walking through the lobby of Edna, Dad whispered to me, “This looks like the Betty Ford Center. It feels like we are visiting you in treatment.”